


Coffee and Cigarettes

by frozenlouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Artist Louis, Bottom Louis, Depression, F/M, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Original Character Death(s), Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Smut, Top Harry, Waiter Harry, like a lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-15 07:29:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2220699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frozenlouis/pseuds/frozenlouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis wakes up everyday with coffee and cigarettes, alone. Harry is depressed and has to take pills. One rainy day, Harry gets sick of bottling everything inside and gets out the phone book. His finger lands on “Louis Tomlinson.” Harry writes everything he is feeling onto that paper, sending it to Louis. Since Louis and Harry are towns away, Harry didn’t feel the need to not use his address. Louis gave him help. Harry starts developing feelings for the man behind the letters. Is it possible to feel so strongly over someone you’ve never met…physically?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. But sometimes we have to let go when it snows

Louis P.O.V

It was another frigid New York morning, snow flakes dance across my window. While I stir in my bed, I hear the B44 bus come down the street. I sit up in my large bed, rub my eyes and swing my legs over the edge. I feel the plush carpet beneath me as I slowly walk into the kitchen of my modest apartment, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. I open the cupboard and grab my favorite mug and fill it, then snag my cigarettes off the counter and walk out onto the balcony. I take a deep breath, light my cigarette and sit down; I can feel the crisp breeze hitting up against my skin. I hear the laughter of children playing in the street, in the freshly fallen snow. Their faces express nothing but pure happiness and innocence.

 

I’m surrounded by people, yet I still feel alone and empty. I feel as if there is nothing for me in this world, having left my whole family behind, having no one, having nothing. I take the last sip of my coffee and go back inside. I walk into my bathroom, strip off my pajamas and get into the shower; at an attempt to wash the stress and tightness from my muscles. When I get out of the shower, I go back into my room and pick out a denim button up, a white V-neck, a pair of black jeans and a pair of black vans. I went to the front door, grabbed my bag, keys and wallet. I headed out the front door locking it behind me. Then quickly jumped into the elevator and out the front door. I hailed a taxi and got in. 

 

“Where to?” asked the large Indian man with a thick accent sitting in the front seat. 

 

“59 Franklin Street “I said while flipping through my sketch book.

 

30 awkwardly quiet minutes later, we arrived at my studio and I paid the man then waved him off. I approached the same old red brick building then entered, a wonderful wave of heat emerges as I wipe my feet on the black carpet and put my head down trying to ignore the buildings secretary Adelaide. She sat while looking at her computer, with her long, curly, brown hair, falling in front of her blue eyes, framed by her slightly tanned skin. Just as I was about to get in to the elevator

 

“Good morning Mr. Tomlinson!” piped her annoyingly perky voice scaring me half to death. 

 

“Good morning Adelaide” I grumbled in response, as I rapidly pushed the button calling the elevator once again.

 

“So how was your weekend?” she asked. 

 

“Fine” I said as I stepped into the elevator. 

 

“Goodbye” I heard her squeak out as the doors shut. 

 

Once I got into my studio, I sighed in relief; this was the only place I felt remotely at home. I moved towards my desk and pulled out my sketch book and pencils and began to work; hours passed, the snow still coming down hard as ever. I was feeling a little hungry, so I decided to get some lunch, so I buzzed down to reception. 

 

"Yes Mr.Tomlinson?" Adelaide chirped 

 

"Can you please order me in some lunch?" I requested. 

 

"Absolutely! I'll bring it up when it gets here, anything else I could get you sir?" she asked obediently. 

 

"No thank you Adelaide" I mumbled.

 

During my wait, I decided to make a quick run to the pastry shop. I quickly pulled on my beanie, grabbed my wallet and went down stairs. I tried dodging Adelaide and anything she had to say. I then dashed across the busy street, into the small pastry shop. When I opened the door a wave of so sweet smells filled my nose, and I couldn’t help but smile. I then walked up to the counter with a bright smile on my face and I was greeted by an equally bright smiled girl. Her name tag read "Josie", she had straight medium length red hair, and porcelain like skin.

 

“How may I help you today sweet cheeks?” she asked cheerfully in an adorable southern accent. 

 

I paused to ponder, “Umm can I please get a large black coffee and...” 

 

“Ah what the heck and a dozen macaroons?” I finished content with my purchase.

 

“Yes sir that’ll be $12.70 and your name?” she said.

 

“Louis” I said while handing her a $20.

 

“Okay your change will be-”

 

“Keep it.” Her face lit up and she was smiling ear to ear.

 

“Why thank you!” she gleamed and handed me my coffee and a cute little box with light and hot pink stripes and had I cream colored oval the read “La Petite Rose”.

 

“Well have a lovely day Josie”I said as I waved goodbye.

 

“You too sweetie!” She said. I walked back out into the rain, realizing it was now snowing much harder; so I once again dashed across the street going back into the building, now in a slightly better mood. I walk to the desk and say hello to Adelaide and offer her a macaroon and pick up my lunch. I get onto the elevator I walk back into my studio and make my way over to the couch, light a cigarette and take a nice gulp of my drink. "cigarettes and coffee man, now that’s a combination" I sat and thought to myself and once again the thought crossed my mind ‘Does it get any better?’ ‘Will I ever stop missing them?’ ‘Will I always feel so alone?’

 

Harrys P.O.V

 

 

I was abruptly awoken by the sound of my cell phone ringing.

“What!” I snap into the phone, angered by the fact that I was woken up so early.

 

“Hello Harry, this is Mr. Harper” said my douche bag boss. 

 

“Okay, what would you like?” I said trying to sound a little nicer, only cause I need this job.

 

“Harry, its Monday.” I pause to wonder what he talking about.

 

“Shit-okay, I’ll be there in half an hour” I say, hanging up the phone. I run to my bathroom and brush out my curly mess of hair, pop my Isocarboxazid, and run back to my room. I then put on my black button up, black dress pants and put on my teal tie and grab my dress shoes and run out the door. I go down 4 flights of stairs and out the door; I get a taxi and hop in.

 

“72 West 36th and step on it” I command to the cab driver.

 

“Yes sir, right away sir” days the man in the front. 

 

Finally, I arrive out front of the restaurant. I run in through the back door , its now 1:30 im late for my shift. FUCK.

 

“Late again Harry.” says another server being his cocky ass self.

 

“Oh fuck off Braxton.” I sharply reply, as I head out the kitchen door in to the main part of the restaurant and walk over to my section to greet a couple.

“Hello, my name is Harry and I will be your sever today, what can get for you to start today?"

“Well have the Lobster Tortellini, Egg plant parmesan and two sides of Extra virgin potatoes please.” Said the man seeming like one of our regulars.

 

“And anything to drink?” I asked still holding my phony smile and upbeat voice.

“Yes, we’ll have a Cosmo for the misses and for me a Raspberry mojito.” He said while handing me back the menus.

“Yes sir, I’ll be back with your food and drinks shortly.” I say turning on my heel, heading back to the kitchen then straight to the bar. 

 

“One Cosmo and raspberry mojito” I said to Niall our bar tender, and my best friend.

 

“Comin’ right up harry” he while preparing the drinks.

 

“Hey turn that frown upside down buddy!” noticing my grimace.

I flash him the cheesiest smile I could muster up. 

 

“There ya go” he said with his think Irish accent. 

I walk back to the table, put on my smile and hand them their drinks. Then go take a few more orders and go back to the kitchen and get their food and bring it out to them. 

 

“Thanks son.” said the man.

When they were finished, I went back to collect the bill $71.30 exact change; no tip.

 

“Cheap bastured.” I mutter to myself while walking away.

Eight painful hours of order after order and smile after smile, I was finally ready to go home. Once I walk in the front door. I flop down on my bed and just laid there hearing the sound of cars going by feeling empty and cold.

 

“Why why why why WHY!?!” I feel myself scream into my pillow.

 

Is this really my life? My worthless, pointless life; I have nothing anymore.

 

I eventually get out of my bed and take a long relaxing shower washing the day away. Once I am all finished I go to my kitchen. “Expired, expired, expired, ew, ew,” I say to myself while looking through my fridge “Pizza and chocolate milk it is.” I sigh to myself as I get the pizza and put it in my microwave. I pour the chocolate milk and wait for my pizza to be done, to pass time I pick up my book off the counter I read for a while.

The microwave started beeping that annoying beep. I swiftly pull it out and go sit down on the couch and turn on my T.V. Once again I spend another night telling my problems to myself, my mother has begged me multiple time to go see a physiologist and she’s even offered to pay. I know she just wants me to get help but I can’t stand the image of someone judging me and know who I am and all about me. It’s just scary for me I guess you know I’ve always had a problem with judgment, I mean to take it well but I always end up getting offended in the end. I guess I just have to live with it though. I have finished my food and trudged back to my room that has nothing but a small dresser, night stand with a lamp and my small bed. I hear the floor board creak beneath me as I sit down on my bed, I hear the springs coiling. I fall asleep to the sounds sirens and cars speeding down the roads.


	2. Your eyes cold like the winters sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the excessive shortness of these last two chapters 
> 
> XOXO Frozenlouis

Harrys P.O.V  
I lay awake in bed watching the snow flutter across my window; coating the streets. I wearily roll over to check the time on my phone beneath my pillow; it read 3:07am. I eternally groan, the joys of insomnia everybody. I do have to admit it looks very peaceful and calm outside, a very rare and wonderful sight in New York. I decide to pass yet another sleepless night reading my all time favorite book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. The concept of the book is so captivating. Though I’ve read it multiple times, I never get sick of it. I now sit, reading my book in the winter’s moonlight, occasionally looking out my frosted window, but in general just enjoying the silence. I slowly begin to get tired and eventually fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.

Louis’ P.O.V   
I find myself awake yet another night. I sit in my white bubble chair, taking frequent sips out of my mug while staring out my window; just watching the snow fall. I’ve come to the realization that I’ve actively taught myself to not trust people. You wanna know why? Because people always leave, they leave when it starts to get through or the relationship stops, being all about then. He left and now I have no one again; I’m in a city with 8 million people yet I’ve never felt more alone. I felt as if I was standing in the middle of Times Square screaming at the top of my lungs, and not a single person would turn around. Maybe there’s someone else out there for me, they might even be staricng at the same moon.  
\-----------------------------------  
I awake out of my chilled sleep, the entire city has a blanket of white flakes. Today is going to be amazing day to do absolutely nothing. I decide to change out of my pyjamas into my some old sweatpants and my The Fray t-shirt. I walk to my large kitchen and marvel at the marble counter tops, white wood cabinetry and stainless steel appliances ‘such a large house for one person’ I think to myself. I make a quick mental decision and walk over to the phones on the counter and dial Josie’s number; which I had gotten after going back the cafe that very day just to talk. She really is so sweet, I sit and wait for her to pick up.

“Hello” She picks up the phone being her perky self.

“Hey Josie, do you have work today?” I ask while taking a sip of my coffee.

“Nope, shops closed today; there’s no power.” She say with a sigh.

“Well do you maybe wanna come over and I don’t know watch some movies and hang out?” I asked her. 

“Sure thing, what time?” she asked a sounding a little exited.

“You can come over now." I tell her.

“Okay, see you in 20 minutes” she says, while happily hanging up the phone. 

While awaiting her arrival I make some popcorn and grab a box of cookies from the pantry and put them on a plate and put out a couple movies, then I vacuum. When I’m finished I quickly grab a beanie to cover my current hair ‘situation’, by the time im done, I hear three sets of identical knocks on the front door, I quickly run up to the door sliding on my socks to stop and open it.

“Hey Josie, come on it.”

“Thanks, its absolutely freezing out there!” she said while stepping in, taking off her shoes and coat and embracing me in a warm hug.

“Would you like something to drink?” I ask as we walk to the kitchen .

“What do you have?” she asks, sitting down on one of the white island chairs; while spinning a little.

“Umm water, orange juice, tea, milk ,coffee and some other stuff but it’s much too early to get drunk.” I say with a slight giggle.

“What kinds of tea do you have?” she replies   
"Well we have   
Chilli chia   
Chocolate Flake   
Camomile   
Earl Grey   
Earl Grey Strong   
Green Tea with mint   
Jasmine pearl   
Liquorice and mint   
Peppermint  
Silver tip  
Spiced Winter   
Super fruit   
and Lemon and ginger" I list off and turn back to Josie looking a little dazed and bug eyed "what?" I ask at her laughing.

"Wow. Do you rehearse that? and I would like Spiced winter; please and thank you!" She says smelling the flowers on my counter top.

“So what brings you to New York?” I ask her while waiting for the water to boil in the kettle.

“Well, I came here to do my bachelors in business cause ever since I was a little girl I have wanted to open my own bakery café sorta thing and what better place than here? So last year I packed up my small house in Dallas and moved into an even smaller apartment/shoe box here.” She says admiring the lady bug tea cup my little sister made for me. “What about you?” she asked curiously.

“There’s not much for artist where I’m from so I came here, this being the modern art capitol of the world and everything.” I said stirring coffee absentmindedly. 

“So what do you wanna do today?” I added.

“What do you wanna do?” she said with a cheeky grin.

“We can watch movies and do absolutely nothing!” I said while leading her to the living room .

“Sounds great!" she agrees following me to the living room.

"You really do have a lovely home.” She said marvelling at my living room.

“Thanks, I like to call it my own little heaven on 5th” I say plopping on to the large white sectional turning on the T.V. 

“So what are we watching?” She asked.

“How about a marathon of Cliché chick flicks cause?” I say while flipping through the channels landing on 'W'.

 

Eight hours, four movies, six and a half cups of coffee, 5 smoke breaks and 2 boxes of cookies later, there we are sitting on the couch, all wrapped up in blankets, sharing stories and laughing and then she asked the forever dreaded question.

“Why do you live here all alone Louis, I mean your house is so big for just one person”? She asked looking outside the snowy gently covering the city.

My mind went completely blank my heart stopped I feel as if there is a thousand bricks on my chest and there was nothing I could do about it I swallow the lump in my throat.

“Well...umm... the whole artist thing wasn't completely true you see, yes I love the modern pop coulter cause its my career and passion but I never planed on coming this far so this is what happened" I say letting out a shaky breath.

"I used to share it with someone a very special someone actually. I promised I would follow him to the ends of the earth so he asked, I dropped everything packed up and moved the 8838 miles. Then there we were in this beautiful home closer than ever, yet worlds apart.’ I say whipping the tears currently welling in my eyes and then continue talking.

“We just started growing apart, fighting all the time, then my whole life was falling apart in front of me, then one morning I woke up in a bed half empty; walked out into the kitchen and there it was the most beautiful bouquet of purple calla lilies in a gorgeous vase and tied on the side there was a little card the read.”

"I’m sorry I just can’t"   
-Finn

“At that very moment I felt both the vase and my heart shatter into a million little pieces and I just fell to the floor the, surrounded by the now shattered vase and I just cried and cried and cried for weeks. I couldn't even leave my bed, i would just lay there and cry and feel nothing but cold hearted emptiness.” I explain to her whipping the tears that are rolling down my cheeks and suddenly I feel a pair of thin arms warp around me. She says nothing. Yet her silence is comforting think I’ve felt in a really long time. 

Once I finally calm down I sit back up wipe my face

“I’m just slowly giving up.”  
\---------------------------------------  
Harrys P.O.V

“I don’t need help Mum, I’m fine; really!” I tell my mother through my phone.

“Harry you been saying your ‘fine’ for the last 8 years, you’re not fine.”

“Mum.I.am.fine.” I spit through the phone, now angered with her.

“Please you won’t talk to me? You won’t talk to your father and you won’t even talk to your sister.” She says with her voice cracking.

“Don’t you start, don’t start fucking crying mum.’’ I yell at her, god I hate it so much when she cries.

“I’m just worried about you, I mean your eyes used to shine so bright but now…” She trails of full on bawling now. 

“Okay, fine mum; ill get help.” Lie

“Really?!” she asked her voice perking up slightly.

“Yes mum, I promise.” Lies

“Thank you baby, are you still taking your medication?” 

“Yes mum.” I say slightly annoyed once again.

“Okay, I’ll let you go, bye baby call me okay?”

“Yeah I will, bye mum love you.”

“Love you too.” she said and hung up. 

I know it’s bad and I really shouldn’t lie to my mother, but I’ve always had problems opening up to people and plus I hate to see her sad it’s just easier this way. You know the worst feeling, is the moment that you realize you’ve lost yourself.


	3. A frozen heart only thawed by the burn of alcohol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vodka is a lonely mans bestfreind

Louis' P.O.V

I nervously shift through my closet, looking for the perfect dress shirt for the most important day of my life. Today I have a meeting with the art director from the L.M. Art Gallery. I continue to look through my clothes, trying to think of the scariest thing Ive ever done to compare to this to make this look like nothing, but i can't seem to think of anything.

What seems to be an infinity minutes later, I finally pick out what I think is the perfect outfit; black blazer, random black t-shirt,black skin tight jeans and my favourite pair of black and white 50's shoes. I quickly do my hair up nice and out of my face 'mental note-get a hair cut' and head to down stairs. I bump into my neighbour Alison, shes a lovely girl and we were quite close; she was the first person I met when I moved here. I don't see her much anymore, I suppose since her modeling career seems to be going well, considering I saw her on the cover of Vogue, Marie Claire and Elle all last week. But that comes to no surprise she always has been a beautiful girl, she has practically perfectly tanned skin and what seems to now be deep purple naturally perfectly curly hair and deep brown eyes.

"Louis, oh my god!' She screams happily giving me a very tight hug  
"How've you been babe?" she asks fixing her bag on her shoulder.

"Ive been good, you seem to be doing well Miss.super model" I tell her.

"Oh yeah I guess so!' she say blushing.  
"Where are you head off to this love january day?" she asks walking with me towards the elevator. 

"I'm actually heading to a meeting with a really big art director, I'm really nervous." I admit.

"Oh my! Thats amazing Louis, I'm so proud of you" she says smiling.

The elevator doors open and we walk out into the lobby towards the door.

"Well, Louis it really has been great catching up with you! Let do dinner sometime,yeah just send me a text whenever." She gives me a quick hug before leaving the building. 

I quickly check my phone the time reads 10:32am and I ask myself 'why in the mother fuck am I awake right now?' 'oh yeah I need to pay my mortgage'. 

I walk outside and thank god I have a jacket on cause its cold as shit.

I get into my taxi, the driver looked frustrated with me for making him wait.

"The modern, 9 west 53rd, please." You see the thing is that I can afford a car and i can drive, i just chose not to drive cause I don't have the patience for the other idiots in this city there for myself and others either..  
A) Walk.  
B) Take a taxi.  
C) Don't leave the damn house.  
I prefer C but there is a real world that keeps turning outside weather or not I choose to participate.

Once we finally arrive at the restaurant, 15 minutes later due to everyones favorite thing 'Early morning New York traffic' yay.no. I pay my driver and walk in the beautifully glossy black building. Theres an amazing scent of french pastries being cooked as I walk up to the greeters podium.

"Good Morning my good sir, How may I help you today?" He asked me with fakest smile I've ever seen.

"Ummm I'm here for reservation under 'Malik." I tell the man looking around at all the classy modern french accents in the truly amazing building.

"Yes, Mr.Tomlinson straight this way please." He instructs me while grabbing a menu and leading me through a sea of tables, finally seating me in the near middle of the room.

"Your table and menu, your server will be with you shortly." He tells me walking away.

10:51am.wow I'm early for something for the first time in um well ever. Mr.Malik told me 11 so he should be hear any minute. I decided to read the menu, so I don't take to long to order. Hmmm I can't decide between the Roasted Wild Salmon and the Mustard-Glazed Lamb. 

I am torn from my thoughts, by the sound of clearing throat. I immediately jump too my feet and shake my futures hand 'common Louis you can do this, just keep your shit together for the next couple hours.' 

"Hello Mr.Malik its a honor to meet you.' I say sitting back again. 

I instantly notice two things  
1)This man is absolutly gorgeous, he's face, his jaw chiseled to perfection and his eyes.wow.  
2) Holy shit the ring on Perrie's finger is probably worth more than me.

"Thank you, Im Zayn and this is my missus Perrie and pleasure is all mine. I love your work, it truly is exquisite and polished' he says giving Perrie a quick nudge. 

"Hello lovely to meet you, I too love your work." she says going back to her menu.

'mental screaming crying and rolling around on the floor' 

"Why thank you!" 

We spend the next hour chatting about life, art and other artist who's work we enjoy, Perrie putting in her own comments now and then but other than that was completely silent the entire time.

"Well Louis, I think your work is going to make a lovely edition to the gallery." Zayn says as he finishes up paying the check.

"Really?" I say completely stunned.

"Absolutely, you're a great artist and a pretty cool person." he informs me.

"Wow sir, thank you so much for this amazing opportunity." I say quite fast still in complete awe.

"Well, were off to go taste wedding cakes!" Zayn tells me with fake excitement but Perrie on the other hand, looks as if she's going to pass out due to excitement 

I pull out my phone and send a quick text to Alison.

"Hey darling you still wanna do dinner? How about thursday at DFV around 8 sound good? 

I slide my phone back into my pocket and begin to head back to my office, about ten minutes after I get there I hear my phone go of from 3 texts.

"Yeah sure sounds great!"  
"Cant wait to so you!"  
"Love Ali xoxo"

A little while latter Adelaide phones me.

"Yes Adelaide" I pick up 

"Mr.Tomlinson your 12 o'clock is here, shall I send him up?" She asked completely fixated on something or someone else.

"Yes please, goodbye." I hang up the phone without her being able to get a single word in. 

Moments later I hear my elevator doors open and I hear foot steps coming towards me, as soon as he turns the corner into my office I seen a nervous wreck of a early 20 something year old.  
He's wearing a full blown button down suit, he hands me a neatly prepared light blue folder. It must be his reassume

"Hello Mr.T-Tomlinson, thanks your for taking your time to see me today." He says sitting in one of the chairs in front of my desk.

I examine his very impressive reassume.

"So Liam, you mean to tell me you 20 years old with a masters degree in business and human communications and your bachelors in public relations, why the hell do you wanna work for me?" I ask laughing quite blown away.

"Well Sir, my girlfriend and friends and family and such say I'm a too "up tight".

"Well kid if your going to be working for me-"

"wait, what does this mean i get the job?"

"Well yeah I would be an idiot not to hire you" I say with a slight chuckle.

"Oh, thank you so so much Mr.Tomlinson, I won't let you down" He says absolutely beaming. 

"Although we do need to adjust some things" I inform him.

"Like?" he asks me.

"Well first of all, call me Louis not Mr.Tomlinson and defiantly not sir that makes me sound old, and no more suits. We don't don't do that here." 

"Oh yes absolutely,so when do I start?" He asks me.

"Monday good for you?" 

"Monday is great for me!" he says still smiling.

"Well I guess I'll see you then" Standing up to shake his hand once more.

"Looking forward to it." He said shaking my hand and leaving.

I decide to take a nap. So I drag my feet along the way to the couch in my studio and flop down face first.

|~~~|

I hear the loud bay door to the studio open and the sound of heals clicking on the floor.

"Mr.Tomlinson." I hear a woman's voice squeak just barley above a whisper.

I am now being shook by the arm 

"Louis, honey you need too go home." My eyes flutter open, it's Adelaide.

"Louis, it almost ten thirty, why don't you head home I already called you a cab, you can go back to sleep in your own bed?" she says rubbing my head.

"Thank you so much love." I say wearily sitting up as she packs up my things for me.

"Okay, come on let's get you down stairs." She said handing me my bag walking the to the elevator closing and locking the door behind her.

Once we got outside my taxi was there as she had promised. I slide into the backseat and tell the driver my address and soon enough I'm home. Once I get in I decide to have a drink or two, but no surprise I drank till my veins were more vodka then blood and I had a drunken epiphany. Ive stopped drinking for drunkness and started drinking to drown, cause no hang over hurts more then a broken heart.

 

Harrys P.O.V

Bullshit. 

Fucking bullshit is the only way to describe my job. I stand around for eight hours a day, smiling till it hurts (which dose not take long). Taking orders from stuck up rich assholes and have to have a stupid dress shirt that chafes at my neck, thank god were closing in two hours, but I am bar tending with Niall tonight which makes the night less pointless and stupid. The thing is Niall was made for this job always so happy so sociable and then there me who's just this anti-social thing filled with hate.

{-------}

Finally we close a little after midnight and head home walking through the chilly New York streets, its really is pretty. The snow just lightly covering the ground the slight crunching noise, how every snow flake is different. 

I walk up the stairs to my rent controlled one bedroom one bathroom tiny ass kitchen and 0 movement apartment. I quickly make myself a sandwich and sit down on my couch, place the plate next to me open up my laptop. I spend the next couple hours doing but watching Netflix and judging people on Facebook, out of the blue i decide to check my email, as usual, nothing but spam and stupid ass candy crush requests. As I'm about to go to bed, now having moved to my bed I see and email from 'Dr.Taylor'.

What?

I open it. It reads..

'Dear, Mr.Styles 

Im sending you this to confirm your appointment for Saturday,January,18th at 2:30pm.

If you have any question or needs to reschedule you can contact my office at 212-233-2834 or you can send me an email at this adress.

M.D. Ariana Taylor' 

Oh.Fuck.no 

I immediately call my mother, three rings later she picks up.

"Hi Baby, how are you? Shouldn't you be getting to bed?" she says happily she must have just had her morning coffee.

"Mum! How dare you!' I scream at her finally snaping.

"what? The psychologist, Harry baby you need it." She says sounding now oh so upse..

"No! Mum I don't need to pay money to go in to some doctor to get judged and told I'm fucking crazy! I get enough of that shit from everyone else!"

"Baby will you please just listen to me?" She asks me sounding devastated.

"No, I won't! Cause your gonna listen to me for once okay! So just shut your mouth and listen! You need to stop micro-fucking-managing my entire life all you ever do it boss my around ever since i was 14! Its been 'Harry take these twice a day' 'harry go to this doctor 5 times a week' and I'm so fucking sick and tired of it! Im sick of waking up somedays and wanting to blow my fucking brains out cause I feel like thats the only solution or way out! Im sick of not even being able to get out of bed, never mind at that cause I just feel like I'm gonna fall apart and die! Mum I'm just so fucking done!" I'm now crying my eyes out in a ball in my bed.

"Harry I understand- "I cut her off.

"No Mum, you don't understand. You have no fucking idea what its like and you act like you do,I fucking hate you!" I yell immediately regretting it.

"Harry" She says just above a whisper voice shaking.

"Oh no mum, I'm sorry I didn't mean it I-I just I'm sorry." I tell her feeling the the worlds worst kid.

"No baby its fine, Your right I don't understand and I never will understand but baby you have to understand its hard for me too, to see you struggle and be in pain all the time, for me to see you her unhappy is the greatest pain I would ever experience but all you have to remember I love you and I always will be no matter what." She explains to me in the most caring tone possible.

"I love you too mum." I tell her.

"Good night Harry." She says.

"Good Morning Mum." I chuckle and hang up the phone and head to the bathroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth I look in the mirror. stare at myself.

"Harry, you have what like 60 years left? You can do this." I tell myself and head back to bed and fall into a deep dreamless sleep.


	4. Frosted hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda shit so ya sorry

Louis' P.O.V 

"Adelaide, can you please Alison's agent to confirm dinner tonight?" I ask of her over the phone.

"Absolutely Mr.Tomlinson, anything else?" She asks of me.

"Yes. Please call to make sure my reservations are still good, oh and please bring me a bottle of Asprin and a bottle of Zyr Vodka." I ask her rubbing my temples due to my punning hangover head ache. 

"Louis, if I may interject whats the point of that I don't think you take aspirin with alcohol." She tells me in a seemingly cautious tone.

'Okay, okay what ever then just bring me a bottle of aspirin and vitamin water, please?" I ask her laying on my stomach on the floor .

"Okay Sir ill be up right away." 

I waited for what seemed like an eternity, but eventually she's pouring me some water in a glass.

"Okay, you can take two every three hours." She says handing my the glass and 2 pills. 

"Thank you, Oh and did you check the reservations?" I ask her while closing the blinds being annoyed by the suns presance and going back to my couch and laying there motionlessly. 

"Oh yes everything is good Alison knows you have the location and the restaurant has your table for 8 o'clock sharp," 

"Thank you Adelaide, can you do me one more favor and put my phone and go into my playlist and click the one with the moon and bring me my pillow and blanket from the closet over there." I say unknowingly pointing to the windows.

She lets out a soft giggle. "Well technically thats two things but I suppose." She says sarcastically.

"Thank you for your help." I tell her as she tucks me in with the blanket.

"No problem, I'll come wake you around 5, sweet dreams Louis" she whispers and leaves me to sleep.

Harry's P.O.V

I sit at Niall's marble island in his state of the art kitchen (like why dose he need this he burns Kraft dinner for fucks sake) watching him make 'gourmet' pizza from the freezer.

"So what did you get up to last night?" I ask him taking a swig of my beer.

"You know that cute model with the huge rack?" He asks me quite enthusiastically.

"Sure." I tell him not liking where the story is going already. 

"Worst.Blowjob.ever." He tells me flatly.

"Really, worst?" I ask him sceptically cause Niall's been with a lot of girls.

"One word harry, Teeth. way to much teeth." He says with an overly dramatic grimace on his face.

Your probably wondering how Naill can afford such a nice house. Well he has this wonderful thing called 'rich ass parents'. So his lavished home, Lamborghini aventador and fully paid tuition to Cornell for his degree in chemical engineering, All paid for by Mr. and Mr.Horan. I too ask myself why he works at a stupid restaurant full time, but to feed his addiction. Addiction of models that is, this boy is a level 10 Modelizer he lives off there air headed self conceitedness. He sleeps with 3-5 of them a week, and feels the need to call me or text me and tell me about every single one. No thank you. 

Hour pass of us sitting in his living room mindlessly playing video games and eating pizza. Wow that sounded a lot less pathetic in my head. Its around 5:30pm now and we have to be at work in 20 minutes, but knowing Niall we won't be leaving for 15 but we'll still be there on time due to his fast car and forgetting we have speed limits and laws.

 

Louis' P.O.V 

I am currently faced with the worlds greatest daily task, figuring out what to wear to dinner, what seems like ten minutes later; but is really two hours I am all ready to go, I quickly grab my bags and head over too Alison's. 

I knock once and just kinda walk inside taking off my black boots. 

"Hello?" I shout looking around for her finding her sitting on the couch on her phone, her hair is back to its normal brown, she is wearing a white strapless peplum with a thin gold belt around her waist, black leggings and a stunning pair of black Louboutins.

"Hey, what took you so long?" She asks with fake angry face on.

"Do you know how long it takes to get THIS ass in THESE jeans?" I tell her.

She lets out a loud laugh standing up and walking with to get her black clutch and out the door we were. Once we get in her black BMWi8 and drive out of the parking garage below our building.

"Why do you bring that everywhere?" She asks me gesturing to my bag.

"Listen bitch, Linus brought that stupid blanket everywhere and no one gave him shit for it thank you very much." I said in a matter-o-fact tone.

She looked at me for a second and just burst into laughter. "Oh louis, this is why I've missed you so much." She says through her continues laughter.

When we finally arrive at the restaurant, we slide through a crowd of people waiting to be seated.

"Oh I love this place, their food is to die for." She half sings.

"So Ali in detail, what have you been up to? "I ask her truly curious. 

"Well, today I had a meeting with the people from SJP to discuss my own shoe collection, that was fun I guess." She trails off looking around the beatify furnished room.

"No, I mean your personal life like are you seeing anyone right now?" I ask her with a cheeky grin.

"No, I'm not seeing anyone right now sadly, how about you?" She asks.

"Hahaha no. I've been busy with work and stuff." I tell her not wanting to tell her that my heart is way beyond repair.

"Oh, speaking of your work how did that interview go?" She asks cheerfully.

"Well…I got the job!" I squeal a little louder than appropriate but fuck it.

"OH MY GOD,LOUIS IM SO PROUD OF YOU" She says excitedly squeezing my hand.

'And thats not even the best part." I tell her.

"Why?" She asks slightly confused.

"The guy I'm working with.holy.fuck.gorgeus" 

"Did you get his number" She asked segestivly 

"Hes engaged" I groan 

We continue to talk for another 10 minuets, our waiter arrives 

"Hello my name is Tyler ill be your server tonight what can i get you yo start?He asks with her pen pressed to her note pad 

"We'll have a bottle of Alfred Gratien and two piedmont fizz cocktails, and I'll have the duck but with no celery." I tell him closing my menu and handing it back to her.

"and for the lady?" He asks eyeing her breasts, well guess who's not getting a tip; you sick fuck.

"Umm, I'll have the scallops, and I would also like for you to not stare at my chest, thank you." She says handing him back her menu with a sweet smile.

His cheeks flushed red as a tomato.  
/~~~~~/  
The dinner truly was lovely. The food was truly exquisite. 

"Ali this isn't the way home." I tell her.

"I know." She says smugly. 

"Where the hell are you taking me?" I ask a little bit nervous 

"Electric room." She tells me pulling up to buzzing building with a line going down the block.

"I'm not waiting in that damn line." I tell her crossing my arms and pouting.

"Hell, neither am I now get out of the car." She orders.

"Okay bossy." I say ,walking with her to the curb in front of the entrance. She held her hand up to me and told me to stay there for a second, so I just stood there waiting for her and watching her skip up to the front door and flash the bouncer her world renowned smile flipped her hair and then waved me over.

'Okay, lets go!" She smiles happily pulling me through the front door into the club.

Its seems like every other person is wearing a leather jack and or a rolling stones shirt.

"You brought me to a fucking hipster club." I yell to her over the music.

"There hot guys and good alcohol, so just shut up and have fun." She yells back to me heading over to dance.

'Well now would be a good time to start drinking.' I think to myself walking over to the bar, sitting down on one of the band logo cover stools. I sit there tapping my fingers on my thighs till the bartender comes up to me.

"What can I get you?" She asks me.

"Can I get a Blue vodka martini?" I ask her looking around for some decent guys.

"Here ya' go." She says handing me my drink.

I quickly swallow it all down and head over to dance, Alison is no where to be found. 

I start swaying my hips to the music and suddenly feel a large set of hands on them, I slowly turn around and think to myself and think 'please be hot, please be hot' 'hallelujah he's hot'. I start to grind down on him a little harder. We continue dancing for five minutes  
and I can feel his cock hardening under me.

"What do ya' say we take this somewhere else." He whispers then sucking a bruise on my neck. I nod a quick yes, grabbing his large hand and dragging him away to the bathroom. He instantly pushes me up against the wall instantly connecting his lips to mine, pushing his tongue into my mouth, I let him take complete control and let him start nipping at my collar bones.

"You have such a beautiful body, baby." He told me with his hands roaming around my body squeezing my ass.

"Knees.now"He command. His fingers run through the my hair, his breathing heaving and hot, soft moans and mewls escaping him as I kneel between his legs, unbuttoning his pants and pulling out his rock hard cock. I can taste his pre-cum as I run my tongue along his twitching erection, and take the head into his mouth, tongue rubbing teasingly along the slit in the tip. I suckle gently, and pull back, teasing the shaft now and grazing my teeth gently along the sensitive skin. Bringing my mouth back to the head, this time taking more of the green eyed mans length inside, my breathing hitched as the tip presses against the back of my throat.

I adjust my angle, relaxing my throat, and pushing forwards, until the man is completely buried in my throat, My face brushing delicately against the neatly groomed pubes. I tremble, feeling a bit of discomfort as I try to keep my gag reflex suppressed, and my mouth is a bit sore from how wide he is. He's stretching my mouth and throat as far as they can safely go, and the I swallow around the mass in my mouth and throat. The man groans at the sensation, I have to pull back to take a breath. When I push forwards again, I remember to run my tongue against his shaft gently, and bring one hand up to massage his balls, feeling the man twitch inside me at the sensation. I repeat this until the redhead moans loudly, and I shudder as he feels a splash of hot liquid spurt straight down my throat.

"Wow." He breaths out fixing his skin tight pants.

"So, can I get your number?" He asks me with a hopfull grin.

"Ummm" I think for a second "No." I tell him giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and skipping out of the bathroom to find Ali again. Turns out she was looking for me too.

"Louis!" She yelled taking me out of the club.

"Where the fuck were you?" She asked walking to her car again.

"I was busy." I tell her putting like three mints in my mouth.

"Ew!" She screeched.

"What?" I ask her innocently.

" I leave you alone for half an hour and you go suck some randoms guys dick!" She pretend scolds me, as we both begin to laugh 

"Can we go to McDonalds, I need to get the taste of liquor and cum out of my mouth?" I tell her.

"Ya sure thing." She says still laughing.

"Do you wanna go in or go through the drive through?" She says parking outside.

"Lets go in." I tell her.

Walking through the front door all I can smell is grease and discutingness. 

"Hello, welcome to mcdonalds, what can I get you?" Say the miserable teen behind the counter 

"Can I get two double big macs ummm a chicken ceaser snack wrap a large fry and a coke." I tell her.

She gave me my food and we sat down at a table.

"Where the hell do you put it all?" Alisons asks me stunned by the amount of food infornt of me.

"Have you seen the size off my thighs?" I ask her devouring my burger.

"Oh shut up, your body is fine."She tells me.

"Whatever." I mumble opening my second burger.

By the time she had got me home, she was standing in my doorway.

"So I have to go to some club opening tomorrow, you wanna come?" She asks.

"I can't, I have work, but we can do lunch on Sunday." I told herz

"Absolutely!" She smiled.

"Well ill see you sunday after noon." I tell her giving her a hug.

'Okay darling, see you then." she says going back to her house. 

I close the door and slide down it and sit on the floor having one of my famous mini break downs and head to my bathroom.

Binge and purge, baby. Binge and purge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone cares Alison is Bethany Mota cause I think she is absolutely stunning so ya


End file.
